Protecting Older Family Members From Scams

Many of the calls we take start the same way: a son, a daughter or a neighbour noticed something that didn't sit right. A new "friend" who calls every day. Gift cards bought in bulk. A parent who suddenly won't talk about money. Scams aimed at older adults are common, they are well rehearsed, and the people caught by them are often sharp, careful and embarrassed to say anything.

Here is what we have learned about spotting them early and responding with care.

Warning signs worth a gentle question

• Urgency and secrecy. "Don't tell your family" or "this has to happen today" is a script, not a real emergency.
• Unusual ways to pay. Gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency or cash handed to a courier are favourites because they are hard to trace and hard to reverse.
• A new relationship that moves fast. Someone met online who quickly needs help with travel, medical bills or a business problem.
• Calls claiming to be a bank, a government agency or tech support asking to "verify" accounts, move money to keep it "safe" or install software on a computer.
• Changes in behaviour. Withdrawals that don't match normal spending, unpaid bills, new pressure from someone close, or a sudden reluctance to discuss finances.

How to raise it without causing shame

Lead with care, not blame. Something like "I read about a scam that works like this, has anyone contacted you that way?" opens the door more easily than "you've been scammed." Listen first. Embarrassment is the scammer's best friend, so make it easy for your relative to tell you the whole story.

If money has already been sent

1. Call the bank or card company straight away. Speed matters, and some transfers can be stopped or recalled if they are reported quickly.
2. Stop contact with the scammer. Don't send anything more, even if they promise a refund or threaten consequences.
3. Keep everything. Texts, emails, call logs, receipts and the gift card numbers are all useful later.
4. Report it to local police, to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and, for internet-based scams, to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.
5. If someone the person knows is taking advantage of them, Adult Protective Services in your state can step in.

Where an investigator can help

Sometimes the question is who is really on the other end of the conversation, whether a new acquaintance is who they say they are, or what happened to the money. We can research identities and records, document what is happening, and give you and your attorney facts you can act on. We will also tell you honestly when the police or the bank are the better first call.

If something feels wrong with someone you love, talk to us in confidence. The conversation is free, and you don't need proof to start it.